Are you Married?

As usual, I had reached my bus stop 5 minute before scheduled time of my bus. This was part of my daily routine. Like me, there were few more people who used this mode of commutation. Since you see them daily, the only gesture you can reflect is a “Smile”. Apart from usual exchange of smiles & hellos, there was something different today.

“So you’re working in a bank, isnt it?” I heard a low voice behind me. “Yes ma’am” I turned & replied with a smile. I saw a saree clad lady covered with a Pallu all over her head, her hair partition filled up with huge red mark of sindoor, wearing a big mangalsutra and arms filled up loads of bangles. Not that I don’t adore such pieces of feminine ornaments but considering the hot weather here, all that I felt seeing her that way was a bit weird.  “You don’t seem to be from this area, where are you from?”Comes another usual question, that I’d faced umpteen times in past one year. “Oh yes, I’m not from Rajasthan, I’ve come from Chandigarh”, came my usual reply. “And your family?” Maybe it was her teacher’s instinct to shoot questions in a row, or maybe her inquisitiveness, I silently thought….. “Well my husband and daughter stay in Chandigarh itself, it wasn’t feasible to shift the entire setup, so its just me living here”. I absentmindedly replied, hoping for my bus to arrive soon.

“Ohh….are you married?? But you don’t wear anything to signify your marriage?” This…..was something new for me to face. I stared at her blankly for a split second, gathered my breath and replied with a faint smile, “….maybe  because I’m married at heart with my husband and don’t feel like showing it off around to the world.” Thank God, the bus arrived just then and I rushed to get away from another round of questions. But this small conversation struck a chain of thoughts which followed me all through my way.

Why are Indian women supposed to wear Sindoor/Mangalsutra or anything that signifies her being married. Why we need to carry these certificates hanging around our neck for the world to see that we’ve been taken lawfully. Am sure these won’t be a saviour from eve teasing, weird comments, stares and all such nuisances, else we women would have happily worn it to safeguard ourselves. I think it’s high time, we move ahead from such double standards and actually work upon women empowerment in real sense.

Self realisation

Learnt an important lesson lately, “Never let anyone talk down to you, no matter how close the relation remains.” There’s a need to draw a line beyond which NOBODY on earth can hurt you or make you feel low. So I too drew a line, putting a step out of the situation, badly wanting to break free from just being taken for granted.

People who blame others for treating them as door mats, sorry to say, but are actually the reason to be so. It takes courage to take just one step- The First Step. Relationship is a two way road, and if the traffic of one side is blocked, the adjoining road gets overcrowded. Similarly, there has to be a balance in every relation. Not that I mean to be rude or rigid but there has to be a limit of everything.

आज भी…

शहर के उस पुराने मकान में

कोई रहता है आज भी

उस फकीर के मकबरे में

दीया जलता है आज भी

यूँ तो जमाना बदलता रहता है

कल भी बदला था

वो बदलता है आज भी

इस जमाने की तूफानी हवाओं का सामना

मेरी जिंदगी का दीया करता है आज भी

आज भी परवाने शम्मा की राह पर

जलकर मर जाते हैं

हर गली हर शहर से

मोहब्बत का जनाजा निकलता है आज भी

आज भी रात ख्वाब दिखाकर

तोड दिया करती है

इस अंधी दुनिया को रोशनी देने

सूरज निकलता है आज भी

आज भी किसी की नजर

तकती है एक बेजान से रस्ते को

किसी के दिल से सर्द आह

निकलती है आज भी

शहर के उस पुराने मकान में

कोई रहता है आज भी….|

रात भर!

सितारों भरी रात और समां कुछ वीराना था

मेरी मय्यत पर वो दीए जलाते रहे रात भर,

उनकी खामोश निगाहें कुछ नम सी थीं,

हम भी रोते रहे और वो रुलाते रहे रात भर,

जुदाई का असर कुछ यू़ं हुआ हमारे ऊपर

हम आए नहीं और वो बुलाते रहे रात भर,

खुदा गवाह था हमारी वफा-ए-मोहब्बत का शायद

अपनी वफाओं का सिला मांग, हम भी उन्हें सताते रहे रात भर

उनकी आखों में इक टूटा ख्वाब झलकता है आज

हम उन्हें नए ख्वाब दिखाते रहे रात भर,

रात भर हम तारों से भरे आसमां को तकते रहे,

वो हमें और हम उन्हें जगाते रहे रात भर !

NOTE TO SELF

Dear Me,

Its been quite a time that we’ve been travelling this journey called “Life”. In all these years we learnt a lot, gained experience, matured and overall enjoyed ourselves. There had been tough times to face as well, but since we’re inseparable, we faced it all.
In all these years, I’ve never really worked upon the reason for my existence. My studies, career or anything that I’ve learned so far, never taught me to find my own self, though it did help me to find the various things that existed in the world and the reason why they are so. But it failed to help me understand, “Why I am the way I am.”

Being a person who doesn’t believe in making resolutions ( maybe because we can’t keep it for long) I have never waited for a new year to begin so that I can make a positive change in myself. But today it’s different. As a new calendar has commenced from today, I want to thank you for all the experiences that we’ve shared, no matter whether they were good or bad and at the same time, I want to resolve that from now on “My dear ME” you HAVE to give sometime to yourself. People call it “ME time” and I think its good to reconnect with your inner self. I need to know “Who I really am” and am sure this “Me Time” will surely help me to understand things in a better way.