Are you Married?

As usual, I had reached my bus stop 5 minute before scheduled time of my bus. This was part of my daily routine. Like me, there were few more people who used this mode of commutation. Since you see them daily, the only gesture you can reflect is a “Smile”. Apart from usual exchange of smiles & hellos, there was something different today.

“So you’re working in a bank, isnt it?” I heard a low voice behind me. “Yes ma’am” I turned & replied with a smile. I saw a saree clad lady covered with a Pallu all over her head, her hair partition filled up with huge red mark of sindoor, wearing a big mangalsutra and arms filled up loads of bangles. Not that I don’t adore such pieces of feminine ornaments but considering the hot weather here, all that I felt seeing her that way was a bit weird.  “You don’t seem to be from this area, where are you from?”Comes another usual question, that I’d faced umpteen times in past one year. “Oh yes, I’m not from Rajasthan, I’ve come from Chandigarh”, came my usual reply. “And your family?” Maybe it was her teacher’s instinct to shoot questions in a row, or maybe her inquisitiveness, I silently thought….. “Well my husband and daughter stay in Chandigarh itself, it wasn’t feasible to shift the entire setup, so its just me living here”. I absentmindedly replied, hoping for my bus to arrive soon.

“Ohh….are you married?? But you don’t wear anything to signify your marriage?” This…..was something new for me to face. I stared at her blankly for a split second, gathered my breath and replied with a faint smile, “….maybe  because I’m married at heart with my husband and don’t feel like showing it off around to the world.” Thank God, the bus arrived just then and I rushed to get away from another round of questions. But this small conversation struck a chain of thoughts which followed me all through my way.

Why are Indian women supposed to wear Sindoor/Mangalsutra or anything that signifies her being married. Why we need to carry these certificates hanging around our neck for the world to see that we’ve been taken lawfully. Am sure these won’t be a saviour from eve teasing, weird comments, stares and all such nuisances, else we women would have happily worn it to safeguard ourselves. I think it’s high time, we move ahead from such double standards and actually work upon women empowerment in real sense.

Self realisation

Learnt an important lesson lately, “Never let anyone talk down to you, no matter how close the relation remains.” There’s a need to draw a line beyond which NOBODY on earth can hurt you or make you feel low. So I too drew a line, putting a step out of the situation, badly wanting to break free from just being taken for granted.

People who blame others for treating them as door mats, sorry to say, but are actually the reason to be so. It takes courage to take just one step- The First Step. Relationship is a two way road, and if the traffic of one side is blocked, the adjoining road gets overcrowded. Similarly, there has to be a balance in every relation. Not that I mean to be rude or rigid but there has to be a limit of everything.

A Tale over Tea

This post is in response to  Tea tale

On an average, in every Indian family, drinking tea first thing in the morning is more of a common ritual than anything else. There is a huge variety of flavors ranging from Masala tea to cardamom tea, or may be health benefits from ginger tea to ajwain/methi, you name it and you have it. If you’re feeling sleepy-you have tea, if you’re exhausted-you have tea, feeling bored-you have while reading a book or watching television, or if you have guests/company-you prepare tea for all to enjoy the time and tea together. Such is a vital role that Tea has in our our day to day lives. But for a “single” me, tea played more important role i.e of matchmaking. Little did I know that I’d find my life partner chatting over those little cup of tea.

Sandeep was a decent,mature and soft spoken kind of guy, when he started to work in our office for launch of a new insurance product. Targets were allotted to each staff members and Sandeep was responsible to arrange comprehensive data and report it to boss. As a trend, staff members had to first buy the insurance product mandatorily so that the initial branch target is achieved. One evening when boss asked Sandeep to list the staff members who didn’t apply for the product yet, he named me at the top of the list……and then the World War III began from my end. Hatred,resentment…. You name any negative emotion and I had it for Mr.Sandeep.I always avoided communicating with him, until one fine day the ice broke, and it broke for good.

There was a small tea stall at the corner of block where our branch was located. As a routine, I always used to stop by for a cup of “Adrak wali chai”(ginger tea) before heading to home. For me it usually used to be an unwinding moment of the day. But from past few days I’d been uncomfortable since I’d find Sandeep sitting near the tea stall and enjoying his cup of tea.

“Do you find any horns over my head ma’am?” One day Sandeep spoke abruptly. “I don’t know because devils don’t reveal theirs so often” was my quick response. “So, what makes you  believe that I’m a Devil? I don’t remember of doing any harm to you at all……”came a soft tone from him and when I looked at him in his eyes, they seemed to be complaining and hurt all at the same time. “There are many instances in life when you have to act upon something even if you don’t agree/like the whole idea. Trust me, I had no intention of defaming you at all. In fact when your boss created the whole scene in front of everyone that day, I myself felt like shouting back at him. I’ve been noticing you from the day one, I stepped into the branch and quite appreciate the way you carry yourself around but at the same time I feel sorry for whatever happened and can’t find a way to make upon the things that went wrong” That day I left, but my heart remained restless. Rudeness is something that didn’t suit me at all. I realised that all he did was a job allocated to him, not much of his fault as such.

Next day, I sought apology from Sandeep for my rude behaviour and since that day, the tea stall became our favorite adda to hangout after office hours. We chatted and chatted, discussed our heart out on various issues both professional and personal, when one fine day the much sought question popped up to which I profoundly said a big YES….after which our parents met over a cup of tea(yet again) and things were formally decided.

That’s my tale….which I shared with you all while having my favorite steaming hot ginger tea and am sure you too must be having yours while reading this. CHEERS!!!